Saturday was one of those days, the kind you think only exist in movies, where no matter where you go, people are in love. Everywhere you look, couples holding hands, kissing, touching, frollicking through fields of daisies, saying "Tra-la-la." Naturally, you notice all this because you are not in love.
Saturday was the day that found me on a bus headed to Darien Lake amusement park with 50 high school students. As you may or may not know, amusement parks are prime, succulent ground for people-watching. And boy, did I watch people all day, which is how I saw all these people in love; unfortunately for me, though, it was only because I was stuck for hours with them in line for rides. In front of me, behind me, on either side, and actually above and below me if you count the people on the roller coasters. Everywhere. Couples with matching tattoos, heavy middle-aged couples, old people couples with floppy cloth hats, angry couples, couples with 5+ babies, couples who couldn't keep their hands off each-other (and OH how I wished they would), ugly couples, cute couples, severely mismatched couples, middle-school couples, redneck couples, extremely thin couples, and so on. All looking stupidly happy. All of them.
I've seen this happen, but to a lesser scale. For example, you're walking across campus and see a pair holding hands and you think "Ugh" and move on, but for the love of all that is holy, Darien Lake was crawling with 'em.
Well, all you happy couples, I'll make a deal with you: You leave me alone, and I won't get up off of this rocking chair on m'front porch and shake my shotgun atcha! Take your happiness and your...joyness...and don't you come back until I can stand to be around you! Which will probs be never.
And GIT OFFA THE GRASS! [dentures fall out in excitement]
50 million happy couples surrounding you while you wrestle your gag reflex: Bad idea.
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