I made this venn diagram. Yes, that's right, you heard me. I MADE this. It's important that I be able to properly explain where my cat sleeps so that I can properly explain why it's a problem.
Circle one: There are a number of places my cat could sleep. In his kitty bed, for instance. In the sink. On the top shelf of the bookshelf. Dining chairs. The floor. The sofa. My forehead.
Circle two: There are a number of places, where, when an object is placed in that location, results in my not being able to move.
Where they overlap: There are all these places for my cat to choose from. Some of these places hinder my movement. My cat - somehow - chooses ONLY places to sleep that hinder my movement.
For example:
- Directly on top of my chest as I am laying on my back. Yeah, I can move my legs, but where do my legs think they're going without my torso?
- Directly on my forehead as I am laying on my back. Sometimes across my face, which leads me, like Matthew Inman, to suspect intention of murder.
- Directly behind my legs if I'm sleeping on my side. This allows me to only move forward. Into the wall.
- Directly in the triangle created by my one raised leg if I'm sleeping in the flamingo position. In order to move, I have to struggle my way up the bed, shimmy my leg under the covers but around the cat, get both legs on the same side, and scoot out from under the covers.
My life is so hard. The hardest. I mean, seriously, how can I cope with this? Look at what I'm dealing with:
