Strange Encounters

I've had the weirdest encounters lately. Here are a few:

1. The Somalian Cabbie.
It was late. I was tired. I was in downtown Boston and my car was in Brighton. I tried hailing a cab, feeling like a hooker. The most modestly dressed hooker in the world. No cabs stopped. (Maybe my pants weren't short enough?)
Then there was no traffic at all and I started panicking.
After a few minutes, a cab stopped at the light near me. The driver flicked the lights. I nodded, slowly, so that if he was asking if I needed a cab then it would look like I was saying yes, and if the lights had nothing to do with me, then hey, why can't I nod my head? Maybe I'm stretching it, you know?
The lights were for me. I got in the cab and started a conversation with the driver. We talked about Boston. I talked about Pennsylvania and the woods and farms there. He talked about Somalia and the warm Indian Ocean, and his boat and wife. And how he met U2 while in Africa. And became buddies with Bono. And went to their show. And also met Sean Penn.

2. The Man in the Subway.
He looked totally normal. Until he leaned over to me and said either "Me too," or "I need you". I walked even faster than I already was.

3. The Bum on the Street.
"Hey-hey-hey!" he called as Rob and I walked by. "What a good-looking couple!". Rob looked around, mock-confused.

4. The Woman on the Plane.
I let her know that I needed to get to my seat on the inside. She begrudgingly let me know that some of the seats toward the front probably wouldn't fill up. I told her that I'd check it out. By that, I guess I really meant that I'd fall asleep and then jerk awake and hit her a little with my elbow, probably annoying her even more. She could have moved to the front at any point, but didn't. It's probably because I smell so good.

5. The Socially Unaware Guy on the Bus
"Movin' through!" he called as he worked his way into the bus. "You don't all gotta stand there, packed like sardines. Man." There was plenty of space in the front of the bus, but he felt the need to go through the entire crowd, sit down somewhere in the back, and start singing to himself in an off-key kind of way.

I've also picked up the habit of yelling at cars when they honk egregiously, which, in Boston, is kind of a lot. I will be standing on a corner watching traffic, and one car will honk like another car tried to kill him, even though I was watching and nothing actually happened. Usually at that point I will yell "THAT WAS UNNECESSARY." It sounds funny now, but someday I'm going to yell that, and the angry car will be stopped at a light and hear me, and whoever is in there might honk at ME then, or even chase me. That's when I plan to say "WhoopWhoopWhoopWhoop!" a la the Three Stooges and get outta there.